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Guy encourages us to have fun with it and, even if we don’t want to chat more, to make out like we’re putting a bead in there ‘just to fuck with them’. The two I’m sandwiched between in this inner circle are very open and loving.
Where I struggle to hold eye contact or stop grinning, they are very comfortable in themselves and with the language of the night and things we are asked to do.
While I ponder on what they’ve done during the lifetime of this poor chap, his body is heating up like a roaring furnace and I’m glad when I can finally let go before all moisture evaporates from my body. At the end of each rendezvous, lasting anywhere between a minute and three minutes, Guy invites us to pop one of our beads in the man’s pouch, if we are interested in talking more, while they stand with their eyes closed. It allows us to laugh at the awkwardness of it all and, perhaps, cunningly, let down our defensive walls, allowing people in and deepening the connection.
We should then place our hand on the man’s heart to bring the meeting to an end. What I’m acutely aware of is how used to or how comfortable the women in the room are with all of this.
To my left, on the other side of the curtain, I hear another man and women saying they had read about Tantric speed dating and figured that it was ‘better than online dating’, even if it does push them out of their comfort zone and they don’t quite understand what it is.
They, just like the pair to my right, sound unsure and nervous.
From my safe place behind the curtain, I glance over at two women and a man sitting in awkward silence on a large, low couch — until another fellow speed-dater bounds up and asks them to budge up, breaking the silence — much to everyone’s relief.
If you’re like me, the little you know about Tantra is informed by the much publicly-discussed sex life of Trudie and Sting, after Sting made a throwaway comment in 1990. And yet I remember it and can’t seem to erase it from my memory.
I might as well have walked in on my parents doing it.